Blogs

Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

That question comes up from time to time, especially during group training and classroom discussions. Here is my response (which may or may not surprise you): 

Technically speaking, the TKI cannot answer this question, even though people often try to extract inferences from various statistical tables (incorrectly). The fact is that the TKI does not measure absolute frequencies that can then be summed or averaged in any meaningful way across individuals. 

Resolving the Four Foundational—Inner—Conflicts

Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

During the past few years, I’ve posted several discussions on self-awareness, mindfulness, consciousness, subtle energy, and mind/body/spirit modalities. For this blog, I’d like to share with you how I use the TKI Conflict Model to help people resolve their four foundational—inner—conflicts, which directly pertain to such timeless subjects. 

Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

In previous blogs, I've examined such inner reflections as who determines your self-worth (you or others) and how you resolve the conflict between your ego and your soul. Using one or more of the five conflict modes, each of us develops some answers to these questions—or we avoid the topic altogether and thus let the “answers” be driven by our conditioned habits and unconscious cultural expectations.

The Inherent Conflict Regarding Who Determines Your Self-Worth

Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

Recently, I’ve been having more discussions on the core topic of self-worth: Am I a good or bad person? Am I valuable? Am I loveable? Do I deserve to be happy? And, most importantly, who chooses the answers to these profound questions: You or other people?

Modifying the Underlying Dimensions of the TKI Conflict Model

Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

Since the early 1970s, two dimensions have been used to plot the five conflict modes: Assertiveness and Cooperativeness (my attempts to satisfy my own needs versus my attempts to satisfy the other person's needs, respectively). Occasionally, these two dimensions were modified to Person A and Person B, as just another way of focusing on the needs and concerns of two people engaged in an interpersonal conflict.

Enhancing Consciousness in Ourselves and Our Organizations

Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

Since the start of these blogs, I have posted numerous discussions on various aspects of consciousness, conflict, truth, and resolution. As it turns out, those particular discussions were often drawn from an autobiographical book that I was writing during the past seven years. Finally, that book has been published: The Courageous Mosaic: Awakening Society, Systems, and Souls.

Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

It seems so natural to focus on specific people (with our five senses) rather than give the necessary emphasis to the larger surrounding systems (the big-picture intuition that grasps the context and the process for managing change).

Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

When Ken Thomas and I first used raw scores in the early 1970s, people would always ask us: "What does each score mean? How do I score compared to others? Do these scores tell me what I should be doing differently?" 

Looking at E-mail Negotiations with the TKI Conflict Model

Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

There appears to be a rapid increase in the use of e-mail exchanges for resolving all kinds of personal and workplace conflicts. Instead of taking the extra time for phone calls, virtual meetings, or those old-fashioned face-to-face discussions, people are texting or e-mailing their concerns and solutions to one another.

Conflict Management and Expanding Consciousness

Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

I'd like to comment on a seven-day workshop I attended in Westminster, Colorado. This experience is called "Ultimatum" and is based on the work of Dr. Donald Epstein, a chiropractor, who has developed several mind/body/spirit disciplines and has written several books and many articles. The forty or so participants who attended, including myself, learned (and energetically experienced) so much in a relatively short period of time. But I can share a few gems.